One Year Survivorversary
One year ago today, our family was rocked and we were very unsure what the future held. It has been one year since our sweet Cooper was diagnosed with B-Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). My hope and prayer has and will always be that none of you reading this have to experience the fear, anger, frustration and uncertainty that comes with an ER doctor saying the words "your child has cancer - but that's all we know now". Sadly however we know many of you reading this have experienced that slow motion moment where the world seems to stop and you struggle to find a way to move on.
On this day, the day the world stopped spinning, We have struggled to find the words. We have also seen 4 other parents struggle to find the words, as Cooper was one of 5 children just at Hopkins diagnosed during this week in 2018. It is a surreal feeling and difficult to find the right words. What we can say is that we have watched those 5 children and countless others battle triumphantly. We have watched in awe of their strength, courage and tenacity. 1 year out is a strange feeling, but a good place to be. So for now, what we can say is thank you. To our doctors, who are the most amazing human beings on this planet. They have more brains than anyone we know, but they also have the ability to be human and real, which is a true gift. Thank you to those who met us this last year with grace and understanding instead of judgement and questioning. To those who saw a need and did something without asking. To those of you who knew we needed help even when we didn't know we needed it. To those of you who stepped up to the plate and helped us immensely. To the many who showed their support in other ways by donating blood, running marathons, sharing our story, wearing his bracelet.We appreciate you. We could not be where we are without you...you know who you are. We are forever grateful for our support system and the love that we have received. Thank you for fighting alongside us even if you had no reason to. We will continue to fight on. Everyday in treatment, we tried to get Cooper to say, today is one more day done. Today we can say, 1 year DONE! Love to you all.
...that's the last of the sadness for this post.
Like all parents or families who have reached certain milestones in this journey, we are struggling with how to reconcile our emotions. We are still angry, scared, and uncertain - but at the same time, we are inspired, determined and in awe of how Cooper has dealt with something so much bigger than any 5 (now 6) year old should ever have to.
Because of that, as a family, we are trying (sometimes not successfully), but trying nontheless to focus on the positive aspects of this journey. I know that sounds strange to say, and it feels strange to write, but hear us out.
- Rather than being angry at God for allowing him to get sick, be comforted that, like a loving Father, he has never left us alone.
- Rather than getting frustrated when Cooper had melt downs over treatments, take joy in the fact that he is here and crying with us.
Rather than being angry that he couldn't go to school for the majority of his Kindergarten year, celebrate the fact that even if he couldn't be in school, he was home for the majority of his active treatment (this is NOT normal for most families who have walked this path and our hearts break for you).
I think the best example of this was just this morning when we met with a friend who has experienced this on a very personal level. We mentioned that today was Cooper's "Cancerversary" and looked at us with a smile on his face and said "we call them 'Survivorversaries'" This is exactly what we are trying to focus on today! We are celebrating that, at least today, Cooper is doing great. That the plan is to start 1st Grade in 2 weeks. We are celebrating our growth and accomplishments over the last year. We want to continue to thank the family, friends and those who, without any prior knowledge or relationship with us or Cooper, have supported us in more ways than you'll ever know.
...that's the last of the sadness for this post.
Like all parents or families who have reached certain milestones in this journey, we are struggling with how to reconcile our emotions. We are still angry, scared, and uncertain - but at the same time, we are inspired, determined and in awe of how Cooper has dealt with something so much bigger than any 5 (now 6) year old should ever have to.
Because of that, as a family, we are trying (sometimes not successfully), but trying nontheless to focus on the positive aspects of this journey. I know that sounds strange to say, and it feels strange to write, but hear us out.
- Rather than being angry at God for allowing him to get sick, be comforted that, like a loving Father, he has never left us alone.
- Rather than getting frustrated when Cooper had melt downs over treatments, take joy in the fact that he is here and crying with us.
Rather than being angry that he couldn't go to school for the majority of his Kindergarten year, celebrate the fact that even if he couldn't be in school, he was home for the majority of his active treatment (this is NOT normal for most families who have walked this path and our hearts break for you).
I think the best example of this was just this morning when we met with a friend who has experienced this on a very personal level. We mentioned that today was Cooper's "Cancerversary" and looked at us with a smile on his face and said "we call them 'Survivorversaries'" This is exactly what we are trying to focus on today! We are celebrating that, at least today, Cooper is doing great. That the plan is to start 1st Grade in 2 weeks. We are celebrating our growth and accomplishments over the last year. We want to continue to thank the family, friends and those who, without any prior knowledge or relationship with us or Cooper, have supported us in more ways than you'll ever know.
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