Snacks, Hair, and a Dose of 5 Year Old Perspective

Everyone thinks their own kids are the best. That's every parent's right as their guardian.  We are obviously bias but we can't help but look at our kid in absolute awe with how he is dealing with this situation. Nothing like your 5 year old setting the record straight with a bunch of grownups who feel like they're trying to get their act together.

From the beginning we have done our best to be completely honest with Cooper about what is happening to him. Granted, this is a tall order to try to make sure to explain a life threatening disease in a developmentally appropriate way. Those of you who know Cooper well, know that he is a very literal kid, a straight shooter. You'd better be honest with him or he will be the first one to call your bluff if you aren't. It is this wonderful quality that Cooper has that will most likely earn all of his classroom teachers a nice bottle of merlot for Christmas. Cooper is also a very observant kiddo, he's a watcher...he sits back and silently soaks it all in. It's just when you think he hasn't been listening or paying attention that he decides to make some kind of profound commentary on the situation.

Thus the dose 5 year old perspective...

When you stay on a pediatric oncology wing, or go to oncology clinic in one of the best pediatric hospitals in the nation, you see some really awful stuff that you just cannot imagine. We weren't sure how Coop would react to this. Most of the children don't have their hair, many are in wheelchairs, are in contact isolation, and have had some very major and obvious surgeries. There are also lots of good stories and also kids that look much like Cooper, but those often get overshadowed by the ugly.

The other evening we were talking to Cooper about his blood and what we learned from our visit. We explained what some of the future OR visits and treatments might look like. Cooper is aware that this is a very long and very trying road ahead. Instead of asking about needles, his nap (anesthesia), or the port that is about to be put in, Cooper said "it's okay that we have to do this, I'm just thankful that I'm not as sick as some of the kids I saw today." Wow! Gut punch for mom and dad who are constantly worrying, terrified (when we aren't in his presence), and just plain sad about the situation. Somehow this 5 year old could see the good and didn't say "why me?" when we as adults sometimes can't. Reality check.

Cooper also asked this week when he was going to lose his hair. This kid likes to be prepared for everything. I explained to him that we didn't really know, but he was most likely going to lose it in the next week or 2. We talked about it and I asked him if it bothered him. Full disclosure, it bothers us, I think because right now with his hair he doesn't look sick. Ridiculous, I know, but it's something we are hanging on to. At dinner that night we were talking about Cooper's hair and we made a quick comment about how it would be sad when his hair was gone. Cooper said "Why? It's fine. It's just hair...it will grow back." Reality check again. Cooper also explained to us that he isn't scared at all. We're thinking...Great, that makes one of us. We asked Cooper if anything scared him or frightened him about what he is going through. Cooper said yes. Here we are thinking, here it comes...our child is scared to death and he's kept this brave face all along. He looked at us with his steroid induced chipmunk cheeks (he's earned those chubby cheeks these last 3 weeks) and said " the only thing that frightens me is if we run out of snacks." Then he laughed.


So that's it. He's worried about chips and Fritos meanwhile finding the positive light in every dark situation. You know how they say all you every need to know in life you learn in kindergarten? Well, he hasn't gotten through kindergarten yet, but it seems that he's learned more than we have in all of this. I think we can all learn a lot from little kids. Their resiliency is amazing. Cooper's ability to be wiser than his years is serving him well. If only we could all pull up our boot straps and move on like the 5 year old can. Perspective is everything.